“More than anything, I just want to be a normal weight.”
It’s something I often hear from new clients.
Underneath their words I pick up on self-loathing, frustration, perhaps even desperation. That’s a lot of pain over something that’s based on a myth.
Normal is a Myth
“Normal” is not a real thing. It’s a comparison based on perspective. It happens when we choose to identify certain outcomes as the ideal and then compare ourselves with those who’ve attained the outcomes.
The funny thing about perspective is that’s it’s all relative. Perspectives vary greatly from one person to another. In fact, what seems so obvious to you or me may seem downright foreign to someone who lives right next door!
Perspective is a personal mental outlook which is influenced by beliefs.
And beliefs are just thoughts we keep thinking.
So if our thoughts don’t feel good…why not change the thoughts?
The good news is – we can.
Forget Normal – Celebrate You!
Instead of a constant inner dialogue about not being normal, we can choose to celebrate the beauty in our lives.
Next time you find yourself in comparison mode, do the following ::
1. Determine if the comparing thought feels good.
2. If it doesn’t feel good (and I’m sure it doesn’t) then look for a simple improvement on the thought; a way to change it so it feels even slightly better.
For example – if you’ve been thinking negative thoughts about the size of your arms, now think of ways your arms have served you. Have these arms carried your babies? Maybe these arms help make beautiful music while playing the piano. Or perhaps these arms assist in holding the books you love reading.
3. Consciously hold the focus of your thoughts to the ways you appreciate the very things you previously considered not normal. Repeat this step often.
4. Lastly, if those “not-normal” thoughts creep back in, remind yourself normal is a myth. Then repeat steps 1-4.
All my best to you.